I’m about to broach a subject that’s likely to make a lot of people squirm. I’d bet that if you are the budgeter in your home, the one responsible for the money, you are flinching a bit regarding the title of this post. And yet, I’m all about real life here on Lemon Blessings, and the tried and true advice about giving up everything you love in order to achieve financial success long-term just doesn’t add up anymore.
Don’t worry…I’ll explain why giving up your lattes won’t ensure your financial success.
Note: none of the following is meant to relate to actual addictions you need to let go of. If you are dealing with an addiction, I highly recommend you find a support person or group you can talk to about it.
Reason 1: All or Nothing Doesn’t Work Long-Term
I’ve completed a lot of different diets over the years. In 2009, Justin and I started an intensive diet and between portioning food and exercise, I managed to lose 50 pounds. Until recently, I’d done a great job keeping the weight off, but then, after starting this blog, I spent more time being sedentary and less time up and moving.
Two months ago, I started working out again and I recently completed another program involving portioning food and increased exercise. Within three weeks, I was able to lose seven pounds and fit back into my skinny jeans. That’s a total success in my book.
Why the success? Well, I truly believe it’s because I didn’t have to give up any one thing out of my diet. Not ONE thing. The issue: portioning. If I wanted to have that glass of wine, I could, but it involved giving up something else and making sure the portion was correct. The same thing held true for a brownie or cookies.
Did I have a glass of wine? Yes. Because I really wanted one. I made my exchange, portioned it out, and I was happy for it. Did I choose to have a brownie? No. At one point I was tempted, but overall, I was okay knowing I COULD have one, without actually needing one.
What does this have to do with lattes and financial success, you ask? If you are considering giving up lattes, it’s because they are something that you enjoy. My suggestion: don’t give them up completely but instead, choose to cut back if you think it will help you reach your financial goals.
Cut Back instead of Giving Up
Most of us (unless we are actually dealing with an addiction) don’t have trouble cutting back. We do have trouble, however, completely eliminating something from our lives and then sticking to it, especially if it’s something we truly enjoy. In fact, when we “have to” give up something in a complete and absolute way, we are drawn to that item even more.
I spent the month of October working through a No-Spend Challenge. It was HARD and I can confidently say that Justin and I don’t spend a lot of money during the average month. The issue: we weren’t allowed to spend ANYTHING, which meant that I wanted to spend EVERYTHING. In fact, I mentioned a couple of times that I really wanted to purchase a lamp. Once the No-Spend Challenge was over, though, I didn’t need that lamp as bad as I thought I did (and have yet to purchase it).
When you make something that’s not actually bad for you off limits entirely, you risk yourself giving up or giving in, no matter how good the long-term rewards might be.
Reason 2: A Cheater Day Turns into a Cheater Month
A strict or restrictive plan of any kind lays the groundwork for cheating. Think back to the last time you decided you were not going to do [fill in the blank] at all or ever again. How did that pan out for you? Or what about what you WERE going to do? Did you do it according to plan each and every time?
The problem is that once you cheat a little, the draw to do it again and again (especially if no one else noticed) is hard to resist. By cutting out lattes entirely (or whatever it is that makes you happy), you leave yourself open to cheating over and again and then feeling guilty about it afterward.
To get around this, especially when it comes to our finances, we make an effort to accommodate those things we really love into our budget. We add a line item for spending that might include a Starbucks latte here and there, and while it might be less than we were spending at one point in time, we still have the luxury of using that money occasionally (and guilt-free).
By doing so we are ensuring that our budget will continue to be effective and that we won’t just give up and call it quits.
Reason 3: Life is Meant for Living Now, Not Later
Ultimately, your budget is in place for the purpose of helping you live a better life, right? Hopefully, you have goals associated with it and are working toward achieving them, but the end game is probably something better than you have right now. If not, why would you even bother with the process?
Sometimes those goals keep us motivated to let go of the things (like lattes) that we enjoy having in trade for something much more important in our future. Affording ourselves a small amount of luxury here and there doesn’t equal failure, as long as we’ve planned ahead for it.
We make it a priority to allocate spending money for each of our family members every month. It might not be much, but it allows us to have those luxuries (which are different for each person) in a guilt-free way. The truth: sometimes the goals we are working to achieve means that one (or both) of us decide to save that money or use it for debt paydown, rather than spend it on lattes, but comes down to personal choice. In fact, we have a savings jar that regularly sees most of my spending money, because the large purchase we are saving up for means more to me than that cup of coffee.
Sometimes it’s important to remember that, just because the future looks better, doesn’t mean that the present should be intolerable. So, if you are finding that your budget is making your life miserable, it might be time to incorporate a small luxury here and there.
The Decision Is Yours
I hope that you understand that I’m not suggesting that you head on out and spend all of the money. Quite the opposite in fact: I’m hopeful that by making small adjustments in your current budget, you will find the resolve to stick with it long-term, despite the challenges it presents. Of course, if you ARE spending $5 per day on coffee, it’s important to note that it will add up, so weigh the pros and cons of each decision you make.
If you are struggling with the all or nothing concept in your own budget, I’d love to encourage you to sit down with your family and discuss the “why” of what you are doing. Is there a reason that you cannot have that occasional latte (or whatever else it might be that you love)? Is there a way that you can implement a small amount of spending for each family member?
I’d love to hear how the “all or nothing” mentality affects you, whether it be in your finances or other areas of your life. Leave a comment below so I can encourage you!
Tip: If you need some help getting that budget in order, make sure to grab my FREE Family Budget Workbook! You can find it HERE.
