How to Break Free from the “I Deserve It” Spending Habit

Sarah Brumley

Sarah Brumley

You work hard. You take care of everyone else. And after a long, exhausting day, you deserve a little something, right? A fancy coffee, a quick Target run, that Amazon ‘Buy Now’ button calling your name… But before you know it, those little treats start adding up, and suddenly, your budget? Yeah… it’s out the window. So how do we stop the cycle without feeling deprived? That’s exactly what we’re tackling today. So if that sounds like something you need, well then, let’s get started!

Links for This Episode

Podcast Episode Recommendations

Grab Your Financial Fix Up Planner Today

Here’s the deal: in order to achieve your long-term financial goals, you have to have a budget that works for you and your family. That means, getting super clear on your income, expenses, and total debt payoff amounts, so you can make any necessary changes and begin to see progress. That’s exactly what the Financial Fix Up Planner is designed to help you do. With step-by-step instructions to set up your budget, monthly challenges to keep you on your toes, menu planning resources, and space to reflect on your goals, you’ll have everything you need to pursue your dream of financial freedom. Sound like something you need? You can grab your copy today at lemonblessings.com/planner and take back control of your family finances. Once again that’s lemonblessings.com/planner for your copy of the Financial Fix Up Planner.

How to Break Free from the “I Deserve It” Spending Habit

Well hey there and welcome back to the Financial Fix Up Podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Brumley, and today we’re talking about a little mindset trap that I’ve definitely fallen into more times than I’d like to admit – the “I deserve it” spending habit.

You know the drill: You’ve had a long, exhausting day. The kids are fighting, the to-do list is never ending, and all you want is a little pick-me-up. So you convince yourself, I work hard, I deserve this, and suddenly you’re in the Starbucks drive-thru line ordering a fancy drink… and quite possibly a pastry to go along with it. Or you’re clicking “Buy Now” on anything that strikes your fancy on Amazon – whether you need it or not.

But let’s be real—it’s not just about what we buy for ourselves. How many times have you justified a little treat for your kids or spouse? Maybe the kids were extra good, so you swing by for ice cream. Or your spouse had a long week, so you grab a little “just because” gift. It all feels like a good idea in the moment, but those little purchases? They add up fast.

And the problem isn’t an occasional splurge, the problem is when this becomes a regular habit that drains your bank account and keeps you stuck financially.

So, today my hope is that we can work toward eliminating that habit by identifying why we fall into the “I deserve it trap” to start with, understand how it’s secretly sabotaging our goals, and then learn a few practical ways to stop that emotional spending for good.

So without further ado, let’s look at why we fall into the “I deserve it” trap to begin with.

Why Do We Fall Into the “I Deserve It” Trap?

Let’s be honest—we’re all wired to crave instant gratification. It’s just how our brains work. We like things that feel good right now—whether that’s grabbing a coffee because we’re tired, ordering takeout after a long day, or impulse-buying something online just because it’s on sale. And for a moment, that little purchase does feel good. It gives us a quick mood boost, a sense of control, or even just a fun distraction from the stress of the day.

But here’s the thing—that feeling? It doesn’t last. A few hours (or days) later, we’re right back where we started—only now, we have less money in our bank account. And if we’re not careful, these little “I deserve it” moments start adding up, keeping us stuck in a cycle of emotional spending instead of moving toward our bigger financial goals.

That’s why breaking free from this habit isn’t just about spending less—it’s about retraining our brains to find satisfaction in ways that don’t drain our wallets.

So why do we keep falling into this cycle? There are many reasons for this, but I came up with four of the ones I see most commonly:

  1. Stress and Overwhelm: When life feels chaotic, a little retail therapy can feel like a quick win. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve justified a mid-week coffee run just because the morning was a disaster!)
  2. Social Influence: If your best friend is always buying new clothes or your coworkers eat out every day, it’s hard not to feel like you should be spending, too.
  3. Sneaky Marketing Tactics: Companies know exactly how to make us feel like we need their product. (Ever notice how every skincare ad says, “You deserve this luxury”? They know what they’re doing!)
  4. Lack of a Bigger Goal: When we don’t have a clear financial vision, it’s easier to focus on short-term wants instead of long-term gains. (Because let’s be real—saving for a future home isn’t as exciting as getting a package on your doorstep tomorrow.)

Now, I’m not saying you should never treat yourself, but when “I deserve it” spending becomes a regular habit, it can really hold you back.

How This Habit is Keeping You Stuck

Let’s be real—these little “I deserve it” purchases might not seem like a big deal in the moment, but they add up fast.

That $10 latte and muffin twice a week? That’s over $1,000 a year. Yep, four digits on coffee and snacks. And don’t even get me started on those “quick” Target runs where you go in for toothpaste and somehow leave with $50 worth of throw pillows, cute notebooks, and—oh look, a new mug! That’s another $600 a year gone.

Then comes the guilt. You’re riding the high of your fun little splurge… until you check your bank balance and that ugh, why did I do that? feeling creeps in. And now, instead of feeling happy, you’re stressed about money again.

And here’s the kicker—it’s slowing down your bigger goals. Every dollar that goes toward impulse spending is a dollar not going toward paying off debt, building up savings, or planning that family vacation you actually want. It’s frustrating, right? You work hard, but somehow your money keeps slipping through the cracks.

And if you share finances with a spouse? It can add tension to your relationship, too. If you’ve ever had that “Wait… you bought what?” conversation after checking the bank statement, you know exactly what I mean!

So how do we break the cycle and take back control? Let’s get into it.

5 Practical Ways to Break the “I Deserve It” Habit

So now that we know why we fall into the “I deserve it” trap and how it’s keeping us stuck, the next step is figuring out how to break free from it. And don’t worry—this isn’t about cutting out all the fun in life. It’s about finding better ways to reward yourself without blowing your budget.

Here are five simple strategies to help you take control of emotional spending without feeling deprived.

Step 1: Pause Before You Purchase

You know that moment—you’re standing in line at Target, scrolling through Amazon, or about to tap your card at the coffee shop. Pause. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself:

  • Would I still want this if I had to wait 24 hours?
  • Is this helping or hurting my financial goals?
  • Is there another way to get the same feel-good moment—without spending money?

Instead of buying on impulse, add it to a wishlist and wait a few days. Nine times out of ten, you’ll realize you didn’t actually need it. And if it’s food-related, try making a budget-friendly version at home. Trust me, your wallet will thank you!

Step 2: Find a Free (or Cheap) Reward System

Trust me, I know—sometimes, we just want something that feels like a little treat. And that’s totally okay! But instead of letting that lead to mindless spending, let’s swap in some budget-friendly alternatives:

  • Had a rough workday? Go for a walk and listen to your favorite podcast (maybe this one? 😉).
  • Feeling stressed? Light a candle, take a bath, or put on cozy socks and read a book.
  • Craving a treat? Make homemade brownies or a fancy latte at home instead of paying for an overpriced version.

The key is finding ways to feel good without wrecking your budget.

Step 3: Set a Fun Money Budget

Let’s be honest—trying to cut out all fun spending never works. It’s like going on a crash diet and expecting to never crave chocolate again. Instead of setting yourself up for failure, give yourself a budget for guilt-free spending—what I like to call “fun money.”

  • Decide on an amount that fits your budget—maybe $30 per month for coffee runs, books, or those tempting Target finds. If you have more flexibility, maybe it’s $50. The key is setting a limit that still allows you to reach your financial goals.
  • Use cash or a separate account. If you struggle with overspending, consider taking out your fun money in cash at the beginning of the month. When it’s gone, it’s gone—no sneaky credit card swipes. You can also set up a separate bank account just for fun spending to keep it separate from your bill money.
  • Make it intentional. Having fun money doesn’t mean spending just because you can. Ask yourself, What’s something that will actually bring me joy? Maybe it’s saving up for a monthly date night instead of mindlessly grabbing coffee every day.

By giving yourself permission to spend within a set limit, you’re making sure your budget stays on track while still enjoying the little things.

Step 4: Create a Visual Reminder of Your Goals

It’s easy to justify a small, “harmless” purchase in the moment—especially when it’s only a few bucks. But those little purchases? They add up. That’s why having a visual reminder of your bigger financial goals can help you stay focused when temptation strikes.

  • Make your goals visible. Print out a picture of your dream vacation, debt-free goal, or savings milestone and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day—on the fridge, by your computer, or even as your phone’s lock screen.
  • Use sticky notes for quick reminders. I have one on my laptop that says, “Would you rather have coffee now or a debt-free vacation later?” It might sound silly, but in the moment, it makes me stop and think before I spend.
  • Track your progress in a fun way. Use a savings tracker or a debt payoff chart where you color in sections as you get closer to your goal. Seeing that progress can be way more satisfying than another impulse purchase.

The goal here isn’t to deprive yourself—it’s to shift your focus from instant gratification to long-term rewards. Because let’s be real, you deserve something way better than another random Target haul or drive-thru coffee. You deserve financial peace and freedom. 🚀💰

Step 5: Track Your Emotional Spending Triggers

Ever notice that you tend to spend more when you’re stressed? Bored? Scrolling social media? If so, it’s time to start tracking it!

Keep a note in your phone and jot down:

  • What triggered the spending urge? (Bad day? Social media? Just feeling tired?)
  • What did you buy—or almost buy?
  • How did you feel afterward?

Once you start seeing patterns, it gets so much easier to stop emotional spending in its tracks.

How Will You Break the “I Deserve It” Mindset?

Breaking the “I deserve it” spending habit isn’t easy—and I’m not here to tell you that you should never buy a latte again or that you have to give up every little treat. That’s not the goal. The goal is to make intentional choices with your money so that you can afford the things that actually matter to you, the things that bring you lasting joy instead of just a temporary high.

Because you DO deserve something amazing—

🏡 A debt-free home where you never have to worry about a mortgage payment hanging over your head.

💰 An emergency fund that lets you breathe easy, knowing that one unexpected bill won’t send you into financial panic.

✈️ A family vacation paid in cash—a trip where you can truly relax without worrying about the credit card bill waiting for you when you get home.

And that? That’s worth way more than another Target haul, another Amazon box on your doorstep, or another coffee shop swipe.

So here’s my challenge for you:

For the next week, track every time you feel tempted to spend impulsively. Don’t judge yourself, don’t feel guilty—just notice it. What triggered the urge? Was it stress, boredom, social media? The more you understand why you’re spending, the easier it will be to change the habit.

And most importantly—give yourself grace. Changing your money mindset takes time, but every step you take toward being intentional with your finances is a step in the right direction.

Whatever you decide, just know that I’m cheering you on every step of the way! You’ve got this, friend. Have an amazing day, and I’ll chat with you again next time!

More
articles