As parents, I think it’s easy for us to dream big on the account of our children – to have big goals for what they will achieve today, this week, month, and even into their entire lives. While I don’t think there is anything wrong with setting goals for our children in many categories, when we leave our kids out of their own goal setting, we lose a huge part of the reason for goal success: the why.

Think about a goal you’ve set for yourself in the past. Were you successful in achieving it? Are you still pressing forward?

Now, think about a goal someone else set for you. For me, it was the goal my parents had that I would learn to play the piano. The problem: I REALLY wasn’t good at the piano and I really disliked practicing. It wasn’t my dream for myself so, while I obeyed my parents in taking lessons and practicing, I never became really accomplished at it because it wasn’t my goal for myself.

Children’s Goals – How to Help Them Achieve Greatness

Fast forward several years later, though, and they let me follow my dream: to play the French horn. It was MY dream to get really good at it and because I had “the why” involved, I practiced, practiced, and practiced some more. In fact, I had the privilege of playing not only in the Jr. Youth Symphony (middle school), the Youth Symphony, being part of Symphonic Band AND Orchestra and went on to play in the band in college. It was my dream, so I worked HARD for it.

If we want our children to have (and achieve) goals, then we have to help them set goals that they care about. We can do that in several ways, but I’ll just share my method to get you started.

Honestly, the process for helping a child set goals isn’t that much different the process you probably use to set your own goals.

Step 1: Determine a Timeframe

A simple way to get your child interested in goal setting is to decide what timeframe their goal should fit into. A yearlong goal might be a little farfetched for a younger child because it’s easy to lose interest halfway through. Maybe you just want them to create a goal for a month or a week-long break from school.

My girls love to set summer goals. Sometimes they make the plan to read a certain number of books per week (and track them) or to learn a new form of art. If you don’t have large commitments over the Spring or Christmas breaks, those can be great times to set goals so as not to lose forward momentum.

Step 2: Decide on a Goal

This seems obvious, but if your child is struggling to decide what a good goal might be, there are a couple of strategies I use.

Strategy 1: The Big Picture

Literally, have your child draw a picture of them accomplishing something they’ve always wanted to do. Kids often can’t put into words what they really want, but they can dream big on paper with colored pencils or crayons.

Once your child has finished with their picture, take some time to talk with them about it. If their dream seems a little too farfetched, pick a small step that helps them feel like they’ve made progress toward it. For example, if their dream is to be a superhero when they grow up (a common theme, I’ve come to find out), then you might want to encourage them that every superhero helps out others and help them define their goal to be something along that line. Get creative in helping them decide on their own goal.

Strategy 2: Long-Term Dreams

If your child doesn’t know what they might want to accomplish and is having trouble drawing that, have them draw a picture (or write a little bit) about WHO they will be when they grow up. When I ask my youngest to do that, she normally draws herself (bigger than normal) with stylish clothes and hair. I’m pretty sure she will grow up to be some sort of hair stylist, but what do I know.

Using the same method from Strategy 1, you can help him or her pick out a small detail of that “larger picture” and find a goal in the midst of it.

Step 3: Write it Down

Now that you’ve got the goal (that was the hard part, I promise!) then it’s time to put together a plan to accomplish that goal. I’ve put together a printable worksheet that you can use to help your child do just that. (Find it HERE.) You can also see how my oldest daughter uses the sheet for her own goals below.

Steps to Reach the Goal

After your child defines their goal, it’s important for them to understand the steps they will need to take to make that goal a reality. Have them brainstorm what they should do to get closer to their desired end result.

Note: you might also want them to write down any materials they might need if their goal comes in the form of completing a project or something similar.

Help from an Adult

Even adults often need help in achieving their goals, so it’s not surprising that most kids’ goals will require some assistance from an adult. Have your child write down the things they think they might need help with in order to succeed. Of course, this might change as they realize either what they are capable of accomplishing on their own OR how hard their choice of tasks really is.

You’ll be able to step in when needed, but first, give them the chance to think it through.

Goal Accomplished

Having goals with a clear outcome is especially critical. Without that outcome, it’s hard to know when you’ve achieved success and your child’s goal is no different. Have them write a sentence or two detailing how they will know when they’ve met their goal. You want to be able to celebrate with them at that point as well, so don’t skip this step!

A Visual Representation

My girls’ favorite part of this worksheet, of course, is the visual representation. In the “Me Now” box the pictures normally look unhappy as they haven’t accomplished their goal yet, but in the “Me After Achieving My Goal” the pictures are always cheerful and look like something I’d want to accomplish myself.

Remember: kids are very visual, so having a drawing to help remind them where they’ve come from and where they are going is so helpful to keep them on track.

This is also a great place to decide if you will encourage incentivizing their goal. If the end result is incentive enough, then don’t worry about this step, but if you think they might give up halfway through, then an incentive might be just the thing.

A Final Note

Now that your child has set a goal, it’s important to assist them in achieving it. Keep in mind, though, that this is THEIR goal, not yours. It’s important to encourage the attitude of sticking to what you’ve started, but if your child is miserable or truly hates the activity they’ve chosen to take on, then it might be time to help them rethink their goal going forward. The moment you begin to insist they meet their goal will likely be the minute that they will wish they’d never set a goal to begin with.

“A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses those skills to accomplish his goals.” – Larry Bird

Are you encouraging your child in a specific goal? Let me know in the comments below!

Tip: How about your own goals? Are you excited about achieving them or needing a little extra help? Grab my 5-Day Goals Course (it’s free) and determine what really matters!